For over 100 years, my family has run a unique mail-order catalog business filled with original and innovative outdoor products designed, researched and developed by our clan. The Matthews Whole Outdoors Catalog Company (MWOCC) is an institution in the outdoor world and a leader in innovative, unique, and rugged outdoor gear and nature-based products for the home. All items are designed and tested by members of my outdoor family, and they are all made here in the United States by Americans, usually rednecks. Needless to say, you won't find any of our products in the local Wal-Mart or Bass Pro Shops store or even in a Cabela’s catalog.
     Are you one of those people saying “Huh?” to yourself? It always amazes me that many of my readers don’t know of my family’s long-time business (our catalog is printed in 34 languages), and I have again taken this space at Thanksgiving and the kick-off of the Christmas shopping season to acquaint readers with some of the newest and most innovative products in our latest catalog.
 
BAILOUT BACON FROM
PRIME PORKED-OUT PORK
      Perfect for the holidays and a real life-saver for our company, this bacon is richly marbled with more fat than any bacon you’ve ever seen. It is cut directly from the bellies of the biggest, fattest pigs. These pigs, surprisingly, are raised in Sacramento and Washington, D.C. feedlots where cousin Willis Matthews has found the porkers seem to put on unlimited amounts of weight. They simply can’t achieve these sizes in America’s heartland. Willis has also been able to get a government contract for a feed called “The Public Trough” that is not available to other suppliers. (We can’t talk about the content of the feed, the health of the pork, or how Willis got the contract, but you’ll love the bacon!) Because of a government partnership and oversight in the raising of these pigs (they are kept in individual, carpeted pens and listen to soothing music), this premium bacon only costs three times as much as normal bacon. This is 100 percent pure American pork. Buy American!
Save Our Bacon Bacon        $22.95 per pound    
Double-Dip Pork Chops        $44.87 per pound
     There is a cholesterol-added sin tax of $12.87 per pound on this item to fund national healthcare and a government-run campaign to reduce the consumption of fatty foods that taste really, really good. Warning: Bacon can make your heart explode.

GENUINE PHARMACUTICAL
FISHING PRESCRIPTIONS
     After an exhaustive 18-year research study, mental health professional Dr. Sigmund Matthews has proven that people who fish a minimum of four days a month have fewer health problems, never need to take Zoloft, get fewer divorces, have happier children, and are more productive workers. Since family obligations and weekender prisons occupy most people’s two days off of work each week, Sigmund’s medical practice is now offering prescriptions mandating workers take off one work day a week to fulfill the minimum requirement for “fishing health days.” Newly-passed federal legislation has mandated that all employers cover the salary and benefits of employees for up to 52 fishing health days a year, and the government has accepted responsibility to fund any additional days authorized under a Dr. Matthews’ prescription. To receive a prescription, a brief examination is required. It can be conducted in person, on-line, or by telephone. Cost for the examination is covered by all insurance plans (federal mandate). We sure hope you’re insured.
Hook-Up Examination        $5,884
Pharma-Fishing Prescriptions (renewable annually)
One-Day/Week            $288
Two-Day/Week            $9,484
     We also do medical marijuana prescriptions, psychic readings, marriage counseling, banjo lessons, and debt consolidations over the phone thought Sigmund’s non-profit, government-funded Center for WHACJOB Research.

ENDANGERED KANGAROO RATS FOR
DOMESTIC RELOCATION PROJECTS
     Do you hate yard work? Of course you do, it cuts into hunting and fishing time! The whole Matthews clan has been working on captive breeding programs for a host of endangered species with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, and Uncle Aldo Matthews has become incredibly successful at breeding several subspecies of kangaroo rats. (“They are rats, after all, and they breed like it,” he says.) Once released in your yard, it becomes federally protected habitat for an endangered species and you can’t -- by law! -- mow, weed, till, or otherwise change the habitat. We provide the correct subspecies for your area and notify the USFWS of the “discovery” so you can be free to use those off-work fishing prescriptions for their intended use. Larger Landowners: Do you own undevelopable flood plain? Get federal subsidies for endangered species or sell your land to the government for a wildlife preserve at a big profit. Ask us how.
NoMo Yard Work Rat Pack        $44.87 (six K-rats)
Subsidy-Qualifying Colony    $288 (sixty K-Rats)
Preserve-Sized Infestation    $996 (six hundred K-Rats)
     We also have endangered willow flycatchers, flower-loving sand flies, Southern rubber boas, Santa Ana River suckers, and desert tortoises up the wazoo.
     Those are just a sampling of some of our newest products for fall, 2009. For you own copy of our complete catalog, which features some of our more traditional products like our three-stage hyper-velocity big game hunting ammunition, helium-filled backpacks, fermented grizzly bear milk, and Bigfoot fingernail-clipping pendants and ear-rings, send us the name and phone number of your AA sponsor to MWOCC, P.O. Box 9007, San Bernardino, CA 92427-0007.
    
     [A selection of older items from previous year’s catalogs is below for your reading pleasure.]

GENUINE FERMENTED
GRIZZLY BEAR MILK
    Great Uncle Mountain Matthews started drinking distilled and fermented grizzly milk because, as he explained it, "It put hair on my chest." He swears this natural elixir promotes the growth of a soft fur undercoat in men. Uncle Mountain drank the concoction prior to and throughout the winter when trapping in the Northwest Territories as a young man. He said it allowed him to grow a dense fur coat to stave off the cold and reduce the layers of clothing he needed to wear in that cold environment. Uncle Mountain has written a book about how he procured the grizzly milk that is being made into an action movie for release next year. Today, actors use this product when playing werewolf parts. Regular folks drink it before costume parties. But its major benefit, in moderate daily doses, is that it prevents hair loss and completely ends shyness. Also great for hangovers because everyone knows "hair of the bear" is better than "hair of the dog."
Booze with a Bite (90 proof)            $189 per fifth
    Cousin Willis Matthews gives tours of the MWOCC's grizzly dairy located just outside Yellowstone National Park. He says that grizzly bear milkers are a dying breed.

AUTHENTIC FLATULENCE
SCENTED MOOD CANDLES
    A perfect off-season gift for the hunter who misses hunting camp or the wife who misses her traveling husband. However, these flatulence-scented candles were designed with the holidays in mind when guests and old girlfriends overstay their welcome. They are perfect for killing the mood. These wax-based, long-burning candles are available in three flatulence scent/size combinations that can send your message in varying degrees. A sound effects adapter is extra. Guaranteed not to peel the paint.
Little Toot Candles (set of six)        $8
Rip Snort Candles (per pair)            $10
Seam Buster Candle (you only need one)    $12
Finger-Pull Audio Adapter            $22

HELIUM FILLED RIFLE
AND SHOTGUN STOCKS
     Joining our extensive line of helium-filled products -- fly lines, hiking shoes, snow shoes, and backpacks -- we are introducing special rifle and shotgun stocks for 2001. Replace that heavy wood or synthetic stock on your Model 70 and that nine-pound rifle suddenly only weighs a mere two pounds. Mountain hunters rejoice! Heavy shotguns are suddenly a dream to carry after upland birds and swing and point more quickly. Chukar hunters have been brought to tears the first time they see this product. Our helium-filled stocks also have the added advantage of giving you a catchy retort to use when hunting buddies' comment about your shooting or hunting tales. When they tell you you're full of hot air, you can say, "No, but my rifle is." (You have to be there.) Warning: Do not install these stocks on firearms other their intended design. If placed on guns lighter than intended, the firearm could float away on the breeze.
Buoyant Rifle Stock                $346
Buoyant Shotgun Stock                $356

HEADS-UP DISPLAY, .02 CALIBER
SILENCED EYEGLASS NOVELTY GUN
     Great uncle Werner, cousin Steve "Apple" Matthews, and cousin Willis Matthews designed this product as a party novelty and practice device for military fighter pilots. They were drinking, what can we tell you? It is nothing more than a miniature, semi-automatic firearm fitted in the frame of a pair of glasses. It fires tiny .02-inch diameter slugs made of walnut out of a silenced barrel in the right temple frame. Aiming is accomplished with a holographic display that shows in the left or right eye (please specify when ordering). Firing is accomplished by tapping the "trigger" on the bridge of the glasses or via a remote "trigger" housed in a ball-point pen housing. The device is extremely accurate, allowing the wearer to hit an object the size of a pin head with the nearly microscopic walnut bullet at 20 feet. Low-Power loads are great at parties for making people think bugs are crawling on them, or shooting sparks rising from a campfire. High-Power loads will kill a housefly at 30 feet, great fighter pilot training, or for school teachers to keep their students alert.
Micro Woody Eyeglass Gun.... $689
    Please specific head size: Pin Head, Fat Heat, or Meat Head.
Woody Low-Power Ammo (per 100).... $88
Woody High-Power Ammo (per 100).... $89
     To our dismay, unscrupulous vote-counters in Florida during the 2000 elections found that high-power loads were sufficient to dislodge one or two corners of a chad on a ballot. We overnighted over 100 of these specialty eyeglasses and over 100,000 rounds of ammunition to the Sunshine State. The outcome of the election was in their hands. We are changing the name of this product to "Democracy In Action Glasses."

FROG HORMONE ELIXIR FOR
AVID FLOAT TUBE ANGLERS
     Developed by the genetic staff at the Matthews Outdoor Gene Group (the same people who introduced Irish elk genetics into Rocky Mountain elk to produce bulls that score over 500 Boone & Crockett points), our workers found that modest amounts of frog hormones will bulk up the thighs and calves of humans in a matter of a few hours. Cousin Willis Matthews, the bass fishing fanatic, found he was able to kick his float tube faster and further without tiring after using the hormone. In fact, he has been clocked at an honest eight miles an hour, and Willis has also taken up kick-boxing. We have mixed the frog hormones in a tasty kiwi drink that also gives you all your daily vitamins. Warning: Do not exceed recommended doses. When taken in excessive amounts, it can cause webbed toes, a funny, hopping walk, an odd dietary craving for insects, and splotched, greenish skin. On the up side, should you lose, say, a finger, it will regenerate. Thunder Thigh Elixir            $12.89
     Notice: This product has been ruled illegal for Olympic swimmers.

GENUINE ANIMAL PROTEIN
IMITATION VEGETABLES
     Sickened by the whining of animal rights advocates and health food addicts, the Matthews Research Group has developed this line of products for our meat-eating customers who abhor greens but feel obligated by social pressures to serve rabbit food to guests. Through a special process, we use beef, veal and pork to make imitation vegetable products that are virtually indistinguishable from real vegetables. They can be served chilled, steamed or boiled. Hot with fresh butter, these products are guaranteed to send your cholesterol levels to dangerous levels and cease lack-of-protein brain rot in your vegetarian and animal rights friends without their knowledge. All packages weigh one pound and are very high in sodium.
Bull Brocolli                8.95
Calf Cauliflower                11.95
Porky Peas                    7.95

GENUINE BULL MOOSE
DROPPINGS IN ACRYLIC
    Absolutely unavailable from any other source in the world, these new items in our catalog were added to the novelty/jewelry section for this year. The Matthews expedition team has used acrylic-coated moose droppings for buttons on their heavy outer gear for years. During many public appearances there have been hundreds of requests for these droppings. So this year we are offering single droppings and whole dropping piles collected in places throughout North America, all come with an authentic collection card detailing the location and horn size of the moose that left the droppings. The acrylic coating makes the dropping look as fresh as the day they were left in the woods. For a great party novelty, a small piece of dry ice placed under a dropping pile actually makes it appear the droppings are steaming fresh.
Single Pet Turds                $1.50
Small Pet Turd Pile            $25.95
Large Pet Turd Pile            $42.50
    Keep an eye on our catalog Dropping Section for additions to this line. The Expedition Team is collecting bison chips in Utah's Henry Mountains, bighorn pellets in Baja California, and elk droppings in British Columbia.

AUTHENTIC ‘EAGER DOE-IN-HEAT
SCENT FOR RIFLE AND BOW HUNTERS
     Not available from any other source! This secret formula will draw whitetail bucks from over three miles away, mule deer will come out of summer range onto winter range, and it will make blacktails actually climb trees. All this is proven in actual field tests. Mountain Matthews, our great-uncle, found in his extensive observations of wildlife in the Trinity Alps that the biggest blacktail and mule deer bucks were attracted more to certain willing female deer during the rut. Extensive research followed and this scent is taken from our captive herd of yearling deer coming into heat for the first time. At the plant where the scent is processed in Mississippi, seventeen whitetail bucks, including a buck that was later measured as No. 22 in the Boone and Crockett record book, have crashed through doors and windows trying to find the doe emitting this scent.
Wanton Whitetail        $8.95/2 oz. bottle
Mulie Musk            $8.85/2 oz. bottle
     WARNING: Never sprinkle the scent onto your clothing, only place it on brush or trees near your blind. We are not responsible for improper use of this product and the injury or humiliation that might take place thereof.

OUTDOOR CALENDAR

     NOVEMBER 28-29 COSTA MESA GUN SHOW: The Crossroads of the West Costa Mesa Gun Show will be held 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday, and 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday, at the Orange County Fair and Event Center (Orange County Fairgrounds), Costa Mesa. Admission is $10. The next Costa Mesa shows are scheduled for Jan. 30-31, Mar. 27-28, June 5-6, and Aug. 28-29. Information, directions, tickets, and $1 off coupons available at www.crossroadsgunshows.com.
     DECEMBER 4-5 DESERT WILDLIFE DRINKER PROJECT: Desert Wildlife Unlimited needs volunteers for desert big game drinker project to be done Friday and Saturday, Dec. 4-5 in the desert between Brawley and Blythe. Dinner will be provided Friday evening and lunch on Saturday. Four-wheel drive vehicles are required to reach the work site. All volunteers should bring water, food, hat, sun screen, work gloves, and camping gear if you spend the night. For more information and directions, contact Leon Lesicka at 760-344-2793 or e-mail DesertWildlife@aol.com.
     DECEMBER 5 NORCO HUNTER SAFETY CLASS: A one-day, 10-hour certified hunter safety class will be held at Mike Raahauge's Shooting Enterprises, Norco. Classes are required for all first-time California hunters before a hunting license can be purchased. Cost is $35 per person. Sign-ups are taken at all Turner's Outdoorsman stores. Contact Raahauge's at 951-735-7981.
     DECEMBER 5-6 BASS PRO SHOPS HUNTER SAFETY CLASSES: Bass Pro Shops is now having hunter safety classes four days per month on the first and third full weekends, with classes on Saturday and Sunday of each weekend. The classes are all one-day, 10-hour certified hunter safety classes. Classes are required for all first-time California hunters before a hunting license can be purchased. Cost is $10 per person. Sign-ups are taken at Bass Pro and class size is limited. For information, call 909-922-5500. A pre-class study course is available at www.dfg.ca.gov/huntered/.
     DECEMBER 11-13 BIGHORN SHEEP DRINKER PROJECT: Volunteers are needed for a bighorn sheep desert drinker project from Friday evening through and Sunday morning, Dec. 11-13. Coordinated by the Society for the Conservation of Bighorn Sheep, volunteers will install a new tank and fittings at Teresa Spring south of the Mojave Preserve between Barstow and Needles on Saturday. Volunteers will meet at the camp site Friday evening or 8 a.m. Saturday and then work until early afternoon. Dinner will be provided Friday and Saturday evenings. For more information and directions, call Gary Thomas at 951-206-6410 or e-mail g.cranky@verizon.net.
     DECEMBER 12 DIAMOND VALLEY LAKE CHARITY FISHING EVENT: A combination bass and trout fishing competition will be held at Diamond Valley Lake December 12 with proceeds to benefit Valley Wide Recreation, a group benefiting youth athletic and outdoor activities in the Hemet-San Jacinto area. Entry fee is $220 for bass anglers ($80 in options available) and $60 for trout anglers (or $20 for kids 15 and under). Anglers fishing this event will be the first to use the new ramp to launch private boats and fish the lake. For more information or to sign up, call Last Chance Bait and Tackle in Hemet at 951-658-7410 or to to www.lastchancebaitandtackle.com.
     DECEMBER 12 NORCO HUNTER SAFETY CLASS: A one-day, 10-hour certified hunter safety class will be held at Mike Raahauge's Shooting Enterprises, Norco. Classes are required for all first-time California hunters before a hunting license can be purchased. Cost is $35 per person. The 2010 class dates have not be set up yet. Sign-ups are taken at all Turner's Outdoorsman stores. Contact Raahauge's at 951-735-7981.
     DECEMBER 12-13 DEL MAR GUN SHOW: The Crossroads of the West Del Mar Gun Show will be held 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday, and 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday, at the Del Mar Fair Grounds, Del Mar. Admission is $10. The next Del Mar Gun Shows will be held Feb. 13-14, May 22-23, and July 17-18. Information, directions, tickets, and $1 off coupons are also available at www.crossroadsgunshows.com.
     JANUARY 2-3 ONTARIO GUN SHOW: The Crossroads of the West Ontario Gun Show will be held 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday, and 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday, at the Ontario Convention Center, Ontario. Admission is $10. The next Ontario Gun Shows will be held May 15-16 and July 31-Aug. 1. Information, directions, tickets, and $1 off coupons available at www.crossroadsgunshows.com.
     JANUARY 9-10 VENTURA GUN SHOW: The McMann’s Roadrunner Gun Show will be held 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday, and 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday, at Seaside Park, Ventura. Admission is $9. The next Ventura gun shows will be Mar. 13-14, June 5-6, Sept. 11-12, and Nov. 13-14. Information, directions, and $1 off coupons available at www.mcmannsroadrunner.com.
     JANUARY 30-31 COSTA MESA GUN SHOW: The Crossroads of the West Costa Mesa Gun Show will be held 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday, and 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday, at the Orange County Fair and Event Center (Orange County Fairgrounds), Costa Mesa. Admission is $10. The next Costa Mesa shows are scheduled for Jan. 30-31, Mar. 27-28, June 5-6, and Aug. 28-29. Information, directions, tickets, and $1 off coupons available at www.crossroadsgunshows.com.

CALENDAR RESOURCES

     For a complete list of HUNTER SAFETY CLASSES held throughout the state, including times, dates, and locations, go to the Department of Fish and Game’s web site at this address: http://www.dfg.ca.gov/huntered/classes.aspx.
     For the rules and regulations on GRUNION RUNS, along with a complete schedule and the expected times of the runs, go to this web site address: http://www.dfg.ca.gov/marine/gruschd.asp

CLUBS AND ORGANIZATIONS

     The following is a list of hunting, shooting, and fishing clubs and organizations in Southern California with contact information and regular meeting dates:
     976-TUNA ROD AND REEL CLUB: The 976-Tuna Rod and Reel Club meets 7 p.m. the first Thursday of each month at Bass Pro Shops, Rancho Cucamonga. At the December meeting a free trip to Palmas de Cortez in Baja will be given away. Contact Phil Friedman at 310-328-8426.
     CALIFORNIA STATE VARMINT CALLERS ASSOCIATION: The California State Varmint Callers Association meets 7 p.m. the second Tuesday of each month at the Denny's just north of the 210 freeway at Irwindale Ave., Irwindale. Contact Steven Childs at 626-407-8826 or steve@sdchilds.com. Web site: www.csvca.com.
     CANYON OAKS SPORTSMAN’S CLUB: The Canyon Oaks Sportsman’s Club meets the first Tuesday of every month at it’s clubhouse in Lakeview Terrace-Sylmar. The club has regular trap, skeet, smallbore, big bore, handgun, and Cowboy Action shooting events. Contact Gary White at 818-998-7240, Mike Totta at 818-362-2181 or Mike Nickoloff via e-mail at idpamike@yahoo.com.
     CERRITOS ROD & GUN CLUB: The Cerritos Rod & Gun Club meets the second Wednesday of each month at Heritage Park in Cerritos. Contact Charles Sharp at 714-317-8290 or fish_90605@yahoo.com.
     CLUB FISH: Club Fish, a 20-year-old fishing club, meets 7:30 p.m. the second Wednesday of each month at the Izaak Walton League Clubhouse, Santa Ana. The clubhouse is located at the entrance to Riverview Gold Course. Contact Mike Cross at 949-854-5258 or m_r_cross@yahoo.com.
     DEEP CREEK FLY-FISHERS: Deep Creek Fly-Fishers meets on the fourth Wednesday of each month at the Izaak Walton League clubhouse in Fairmont Park, in Riverside. Go to www.deepcreekflyfishers.org to download a map to the club house. Contact Brett Browning at 909-793-8912.
     GOLDEN STATE FLYCASTERS: The Golden State Flycasters and Trout Unlimited Chapter 920 meets 6 to 9 p.m. Monday before the third Thursday of each month at Tio Leo’s Restaurant, Del Mar. Information at www.goldenstateflycasters.org.
     HIGH DESERT FLY-FISHERS: The High Desert Fly-Fishers holds its monthly meetings on the second Tuesday of each month at The Apple Valley Fire Conference Center, 19235 Yucca Loma, Apple Valley. Contact John Rose at 760-247-5966.
     HIGHLAND PARK SPORTSMEN'S CLUB: The Highland Park Sportsmen's Club meets at 8 p.m. the first and third Wednesday of each month at 2035 Colorado Blvd., Los Angeles. Contact Mauro Garcia at 323-254-0763 or incareal@juno.com.
     NATIONAL VARMINT HUNTERS: The National Varmint Hunters meets 7:30 p.m. the second Wednesday of each month at the Veterans of Foreign Wars club located on Grand Avenue, just west of 17th Street, Santa Ana. Contact Mark Harris at 714-655-6954 or mhitis1@yahoo.com or Terry Mathers at 714-299-9938 or coyote@jps.net.
     NATIONAL WILD TURKEY FEDERATION (INLAND EMPIRE CHAPTER): The Inland Empire Chapter of the National Wild Turkey Federation meets 6:30 p.m. the first Wednesday of each month at Bass Pro Shops, 7777 Victoria Gardens Lane, Rancho Cucamonga. Contact David Halbrook at 760-694-1191 or nrajrc@msn.com.
     NATIONAL WILD TURKEY FEDERATION (ORANGE COUNTY CHAPTER): The Orange County Chapter of the National Wild Turkey Federation meets 6 p.m. the third Tuesday of each month at The Firing Line, 17921 Jamestown Lane, Huntington Beach. Contact Pat Ryan at 714-373-3688 or Casey Rasmussen at 714-377-5859.
     ORANCO BOWMEN: The ORANCO Bowmen meet the second Tuesday of each month at the club range, 17504 Pomona Rincon Rd., Chino (Euclid Avenue one block north of the 71 freeway). The range is open to the public on Sundays 8:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. Call 909-597-7582. Web site: www.oranco.org.
     ORANGE COUNTY BASS CLUB: The Orange County Bass Club meets 7 p.m. the third Monday of each month at the Garden Grove Elk's Lodge. Contact Steve Pendergast at 949-651-8172 or prendergasts@netzero.com.
     PLUNGE CREEK COWBOYS: The Plunge Creek Cowboys, a new Cowboy Action Shooting club in the Inland Empire, has shoots the third Saturday of each month at the Inland Fish and Game range on Orange Street in East Highlands. Authentic or replica firearms and garb required. Information: www.plungecreekcowboys.com.
     PREDATOR CALLERS OF ORANGE COUNTY: The Predator Callers of Orange County meet 7 p.m. on the first Tuesday of the month at the Denny's restaurant, 7490 Edinger Ave., Huntington Beach. Contact Rickey Macy via e-mail at rickmacey@juno.com.
     QUAIL UNLIMITED (HIGH DESERT CHAPTER): The High Desert Chapter of Quail Unlimited meets 6 p.m. the third Tuesday of each month at the Apple Valley Gun Club. Contact Cruz Garcia at 760-949-6334 or fathercruz@verizon.net.
     QUAIL UNLIMITED (ORANGE COUNTY CHAPTER): The Orange County Chapter of Quail Unlimited meets 7 p.m. the first Tuesday of each month at the Izaak Walton League Clubhouse (located at the entrance to Riverview Golf Course) in Santa Ana. Contact Craig Riedel at 714-282-1194 or criedel@mflex.com.
     QUAIL UNLIMITED (RIVERSIDE CHAPTER): The Riverside Chapter of Quail Unlimited meets 7 p.m. the second Thursday of each month at Hunny’s Restaurant, Main Street and 4th Street, Corona. Contact Ron Gibbons at 909-902-9814 or gibbent@gte.net. Web site: www.quriverside.com.
     QUAIL UNLIMITED (SAN DIEGO CHAPTER): The San Diego Chapter of Quail Unlimited meets 6:30 p.m. the third Thursday of each month at DFG Headquarters at 4949 Viewridge Rd., San Diego. Contact David Preddy at davidpreddy@cox.net or visit www.sdqu.org.
     QUAIL UNLIMITED (SAN GABRIEL VALLEY CHAPTER): The San Gabriel Valley Chapter of Quail Unlimited meets 6 p.m. the second Wednesday of each month at Triple B Clays in El Monte. Contact Tim Bovard at 866-206-9070, ext. 6715 or sgvqu@onebox.com.
     REDONDO ROD & GUN CLUB: The Redondo Rod & Gun Club meets 8 p.m. every Thursday of every month at its own clubhouse. The club has promoted hunting, fishing, sport shooting and the outdoors since 1948. The clubhouse is located at 2023 Vanderbilt Lane, Redondo Beach. Contact 310-379-7772.
     RIVERSIDE VARMINT CALLERS: The Riverside Varmint Callers meet 7 p.m. the last Saturday of each month at Flo's Country Kitchen, Riverside. Contact Lance Cochrane at 909-919-4309 or Ray Gauthier at 951-785-4986. Web site:www.californiavarmintcallers.com/chapters.html/.
     SAN DIEGO SPORTING DOG CLUB: The San Diego Sporting Dog Club meets 7 p.m. the second Wednesday of each month at the Animal Medical Center, 600 Broadway, El Cajon. Contact Steve Sarmiento at 619-659-9393 or sssarmi@sbcglobal.net.
     SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA VARMINT CALLERS ASSOCIATION: The Southern California Varmint Callers Association meets 8 p.m. the first Wednesday of each month at the Denny's Restaurant at Pioneer Blvd and Imperial Highway in Norwalk. Contact Granville Crow at 310-548-6221 or crowshot1@cox.net or Skip Gildner at 562-900-9020 or mtnhigh5@excite.com.
     TEMPLE CITY SPORTSMEN: The Temple City Sportsmen meet the first Thursday of each month at the Temple City Civic Center in Temple City. Contact Jim White at 626-201-7782 or TCSPresident2006@yahoo.com. The club’s web site is www.tcsportsmen.org.
     TURNER'S OUTDOORSMAN ROD AND REEL CLUB: The Turner's Outdoorsman Rod and Reel Club meets 7 p.m. the second Wednesday of each month at Marie Calendar’s Restaurant, 2300 Foothill, Pasadena. Contact Richard Crowe at 626-960-9610.

[Want your event or club listed here? Send the information to Jim Matthews, Outdoor News Service, P.O. Box 9007, San Bernardino, CA 92427-0007 or e-mail it to odwriter@verizon.net. Following the style used above for events and clubs makes our life easier and increases the likelihood of it being included here.]

The news package is copyrighted and any use or reposting of the report, or portions of the report, is prohibited without written permission. Posting of links to the fish report on the Outdoor News Service web site is allowed.